creative guilt

I don’t know if anyone else gets this, but sometimes I am enveloped by guilt because I feel I am not making enough.

In the last few months I feel like my creative output has been really low. Admittedly, I have been working on my new etsy shop products for AyamByMaya, so it’s not like I’ve been doing nothing – I’ve made a load of hand bound books and printed a tonn of wrapping paper, and that does take time.

Busy in the studio making my own books

Plus, I’m still doing my Post It Journeys project, so I’m doing at least 4 observational drawings a day as part of that. But for some reason, this just feels like going through the motions, and not actually having a meaningful creative output.

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A drawing from my Post It Journeys project

Part of the problem is feeling tired, which I can’t really help considering my RIDICULOUS commute from South East to North West London every day. But I could be doing more. Or at least I feel like I could and should be doing more.

So yes, I use my commute to do my Post It Journeys, but I feel like when I get home I am too quick to just slump once the other bits of life admin are done (you know….we gots to eat, and so do the cats!) I’m thinking I need to start scheduling in time every evening, even if it’s only ten minutes. Time reserved for drawing, time reserved for visual research and exploration, time which will allow my ideas to begin flowing more naturally and hopefully lead me to feel less guilt for not having what I deem to be enough creative output.

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4 thoughts on “creative guilt”

    1. Hi Kay, oh I’d love to be able to move closer, but it’s just not possible! My boyfriend and I saved like crazy for a few years and bought a flat back in 2014 – but we could only afford one in South London (places are cheaper because transport links aren’t as good) – there’s no way we would be able to afford to move any closer, especially with the ridiculous rate at which house prices are rising in London. It’s a catch 22 because my current job has been super flexible with hours, allowing me to do a residency on Tuesday afternoons as long as I work the hours back, so even the idea of changing jobs to somewhere closer may be just as restricting as they may not be willing to be as flexible as the place I’m at now!

      Do you feel like you’ve got a good creative/live/work balance? How have you worked towards that?

      M

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      1. Aww, then you just have to stay put. But you seem to have lots of good things — flexible working conditions, a home, etc., so you are fortunate. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. Crazy prices for rent and homes. Lately, crazy traffic too. My way of balancing work, etc., is to live within 1/2 hour’s drive from home to work and that is why i suggested you try to move closer to work. For me, it was a matter of finding/changing jobs so that instead of my old 3-4 hour round-trip commute each day, I now have anywhere from 45-minutes to 90 minutes round-trip each day (depending on this now ridiculously insane Bay Area traffic).

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      2. ah so you understand where I’m coming from 🙂 I think for now I’m just going to have to keep pushing ahead, and just try to schedule time in despite being exhausted from my commute! Things will change eventually. I’d love to visit San Francisco one day! What an awesome place to live!!

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